Oh Absalom, Absalom! King David's rebellious pretty boy. Avenger of Tamar, his raped sister. Divider of a great nation. Subject of many maligning sermons. You've gotten a bad wrap over the years. Allow us to offer you a reprieve, explaining your actions, starting with that fateful fire.

Setting Shit on Fire

In summary, 2 Samuel 14:28-33 tells of how, two years after being allowed to return home to Jerusalem from exile, Absalom, son of King David, is sulking and fuming because his father refuses to see him or speak to him. Absalom has sent messengers to his father, but they return unanswered. He even tries sending messengers to his older cousin Joab-- the commander of David's armies-- for help, but to no avail. Joab also ignores him.

So Absalom tells his servants, “Look, Joab’s field is next to mine. Light that shit on fire," which they did. Naturally Joab ran over to his younger cousin's house and asked, "WTF man?!" To which Absalom simply replied, “I told you I wanted to talk to you about getting a meeting with my dad." Happy, well-adjusted, normal family fare by biblical standards. But what brought them to this place?

The Spark that Came Before

Chapter 13 tells the heart-wrenching and infuriating tale of how Abe's younger sister Tamar was raped by their step-brother Amnon.

In short, Amnon desires his step-sister. With the help of a typical "bro-culture" friend, he devises a plan wherein he pretends to be sick, and has King David send Tamar in to take care of him. David sends Tamar to cook Amnon a meal and baby him. Tamar enters his room and prepares the food, but Amnon pretends he is too sick to eat, sends everyone else out of the room, grabs Tamar, and orders her to sleep with him. Tamar tries to fight back using logic, legal maneuvers, and the law of God. But to no avail. Amnon rapes her. Afterward, he had his servants throw her out of his house, locking the door behind her. All the way home Tamar screamed about what happened to her, but no one came to her aid. Tamar tore her royal robes and put ashes on her head, both signs of death and mourning. The only one to listen was her brother Absalom. When he heard what happened, Absalom comforted his little sister. He moved her into his home, and cared for her until the day he died.

David, their father, heard about all of these things, but said and did nothing.

But Absalom didn't forget.

After waiting two full years, he threw a party where he invited all of his brothers/step-brothers, and especially Amnon. It took some convincing of King David, because Absalom and Amnon had not spoke one word to each other in all that time, but Absalom was convincing. Amnon would be in attendance.

Once the party was well underway, and everyone was good and drunk, Absalom ordered his servants to kill Amnon, which they did. All of the other brothers freaked out and ran. So did Absalom: he left the country for his mother's homeland. He remained there for three years, only able to return with the help of his cousin Joab (2 Samuel 14:1-24).

This brings us up to the moment of our card: the burning of the field. But this is not the end of the story. It is only the beginning. It set in motion a series of events which shows that Absalom is not reckless at all. Instead, he embodied John Dryden's words, "Beware the fury of a patient man."

Absalom knew how to wait. How to plan.

When David learns of the death of Amnon, Jonadab (the douchebag who helped plan the rape of Tamar, who is also her cousin) tells David that Amnon's death "has been determined by Absalom from the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar" (14:32). This wasn't some rash action, and even a scumbag plotter like Jonadab can clearly see that.

Absalom plots in silence: He wants silence on the matter. He wants it to fall out of people's memory. He tells Tamar to stop speaking (screaming) about it and advocating for herself. He doesn't confront Amnon directly about the rape. He waits two years to plot his revenge. After spending three years in exile, he spends an additional two years attempting to be full accepted back into the good graces of his father. But in chapter 15, his cunning is seen in stunning detail.

Scorched Earth

After Joab helps Absalom become reconciled with King David, he spends four years building influence among the important people, capitalizing on his widespread popularity in the nation, which was partially based on how attractive he was, an attraction which rivaled that of the previous and current king, Saul and David [c.f. 1 Samuel 9:1-2 (Saul), 1 Samuel 16:12,18 & 1 Samuel 17:42 (David)]. Absalom placed himself among the intelligentsia of the land and built up the idea that he should be the natural successor to the throne. However, instead of merely building a well-spring of support to be named David's heir at the appropriate time, Absalom sent out secret messages to his supporters nationwide to anoint him king. Absalom pulled off a coup.

2 Samuel 15-18 detail, how over an unspecified length of time, all hell breaks loose in the kingdom. Absalom establishes himself as king, raises an army, and takes over Jerusalem. David is on the run, making allegiances with Philistines and anyone who will remain loyal to him. Spies and soldiers dominate the story as son and father seek to wrest control from the other. At one point Absalom goes as far as raping David’s concubines to politically and legally emasculate his father. And it is not lost on most readers that this act hearkens back to what happened to Tamar, or that these abused women are treated exactly like Tamar once David regains the throne and decides that they are damaged goods (2 Samuel 20:3).

In the end, Absalom's forces are defeated. His revolt ends when, fleeing the battlefield, his beautiful hair gets stuck in some thick branches. Though David has ordered that Absalom be captured alive, he is hacked to death by none other than his one time helper, cousin Joab (he might not have gotten over those burned fields).

At this juncture we hear the variety of sermons blaming the sons, Amnon or Absalom, for the events that transpired, this low point in the Davidic monarchy. In summary, they sound like one of the following:

Amnon focused: Don't rape. Rape is bad. Don't do bad things. They will come back to haunt you.

Absalom focused: Good intentions can become corrupted. Don't take matters into your own hands. Trust God.
- "For the wrath of man works not the righteousness of God" (James 1:20).
- "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." (Romans 12:19)

Obviously there is truth in both positions. In the case of Amnon, fuck that guy: he deserves no support or defense (Side note: if you go out of your way to defend rapists, or make excuses for their rape, fuck you too). But examining the story of Absalom a little closer, who is to say that those verses apply to his story at all? Who is to say that he wasn't doing exactly what he should? Why?

Because David sucks. Big time.

When Silence Burns

Jospeh Heller's novel God Knows is a satirical, challenging, but pretty spot on rendering of the life of David. At one point in the novel, Heller presents an imagined conversation between David and Absalom following the rape of Tamar. Within it, Absalom harangues David for not only his role in sending Tamar to Amnon, but his lack of action after the fact. But David gives his reasons, his excuses, for his inaction. These include the callous suggestion that Tamar was in violation of biblical rape laws because she didn't cry out against Amnon loud enough for people to hear, and that there is no prohibition against raping a woman who is not engaged (see Deuteronomy 22:23-29). Heller is not trying to sanitize this passage as some biblical scholars have.

Others have suggested that David's inaction was due to his forgiving nature. David is presented in the Bible as regularly getting over betrayal and attempts on his life pretty quickly (e.g. Saul, Abner, Ishbaal), so maybe he feels the same about the rape of his daughter. Others have suggested that David thought the actions of Abner were divine punishment for David's actions during the whole Bathsheba/Uriah affair (more on that later), so he was unable to punish Amnon. These perspectives, while interesting, ignore David's own words.

When King David heard of all these things, he became very angry, but he would not punish his son Amnon, because he loved him, for he was his firstborn (2 Samuel 13:21).

David does not punish Amnon because he loves him more than Tamar.

Perhaps Amnon was also being groomed to be king, but the bottom line is that David would not punish his son for the sake of is daughter. He loved one more than the other. Need more proof? When Amnon was faking having a witty bitty cold, David dropped everything, went to visit him, and arranged for Tamar to play his nurse (2 Samuel 13:6). He appeared when summoned by his son. David could not be bothered to visit Tamar, his own daughter, after her rape. She remained locked away in her older brother's home, ignored by the one who was supposed to protect her.

And after that, this father blocked out the cries of his daughter.

But Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore the long robe that she was wearing; she put her hand on her head, and went away, crying aloud [za`aq] as she went. (2 Samuel 13:19)

The Hebrew for "crying aloud" is the word used when describing not mere tears, but trauma. It is biblically employed for childbirth, war cries on the battlefield, and most notably, the people of God crying out for His help while under the unbearable weight of oppression and slavery in Egypt:

And it came to pass in process of time, that the king of Egypt died: and the children of Israel sighed by reason of the bondage, and they cried [za`aq], and their cry came up unto God by reason of the bondage. (Exodus 2:23)

Tamar was not silent: she calls for justice.

This is contrasted with not only the silence Absalom asked of Tamar, or his own silent two years of plotting revenge, but David's silence as well. David said nothing to Amnon. Nothing. Not a stern talking to. Not a time out. Not a revoking of privileges. Nothing. He also said nothing to his wailing daughter. Seriously David?

We also never hear what David would have said to his wife Maacah, the mother of Tamar and Absalom. Could he ever look her in the eye again? Could he ever place his hands on her knowing he did nothing for their child? But perhaps she was less silent than David, at least in actions. Surely she shed no tears when she learned of Amnon's death, but one might wonder if she knew of his impending doom. After all, it was her father who sheltered Absalom in exile, and it seems like a foreign nation granting asylum to the murderer of a neighbor's heir might be the sort of arrangement one makes in advance. Perhaps Absalom got it from his mama.

And his Father in heaven...?

Absalom: The Fire of God

Finally, we should not forget that Absalom fulfilled God's judgment on David.

Most scholars agree that Absalom's revolt was the result of the Bathsheba affair/Uriah’s death. That all the above is the recompense the prophet Nathan warned David about (2 Samuel 12:1-12), especially as vs 11-12 state that David will experience "trouble...from within your own house" and his wives will be taken "before your eyes, and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this very sun" which, as mentioned above, is exactly what Absalom does.

For those unfamiliar with the story, 2 Samuel 11 tells how David saw Bathsheba, thought she was beautiful, desired her, found out she was married to Uriah-- one of his best-friend/loyal solders (his "mighty men" who had been with David from when he was running for his life from Saul)--, sleeps with her anyway, gets her pregnant, tries to cover it up and fails, so he has Uriah killed. This event had multiple wide-ranging impacts, not the least of which is Absalom's revolt.

But for those who subscribe to openness theology, process theology, and “I don't know labels, but don't think God knows the future, or that it is set in stone” theology, think about how much time David had to do something, attempt to make things right.

After the rape, Absalom waited two years before he acted. Two years. But David did nothing. Nothing to Amnon. Nothing for Tamar. So Absalom acted. He took his sister in, named his daughter after her (c.f. 2 Samuel 13:20 & 14:27, marking the comparison of their beauty), and then he took care of Amnon. Actions David should have taken. Absalom was punished for doing what David should have done; he was punished by the one who should have been punishing the one he punished.

Image those three years in exile from Absalom's perspective. The resentment building ("I did your job and I'm in exile?!") and leading to a plan ("You're not fit to lead!"). Was he wrong? Absalom's name means “my father is peace,” which is ironic for multiple reasons. Most obviously that David is known as a warrior, but also because it highlights the problem in this story: David's "peace" was complete inaction.

A seminary professor of mine talked often of "the patriarchy" in class. Specifically the concept of "the patriarchy done right" as a social ideal in the Bible. By his reasoning, a biblical patriarchy working properly had the defining feature of the men who were in complete control of the society (it is a patriarchy after all), made sure that they both empowered and protected the women under their care. How misogynistic, paternalistic, and mouth-breathing-jock this sounds to some is besides the point. In a patriarchy, men are supposed to protect "their women." As offensive as this might be to modern sensibilities, embrace this mindset and reexamine David's actions in comparison to Absalom's.

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David should have done something about what happened to Tamar. But he did nothing. So Absalom stepped up to administer the justice his father never did. He did what a male in the family should do. What other biblical brothers have done when placed in similar situations. And others men thought the same way, including Bathsheba's family.

Absalom's chief adviser during the revolt was Ahitophel, whose defection was a major blow to David. If David hadn't placed a double agent within Absalom's ranks, someone who was able to persuade Absalom against following Ahitophel's advice, David would not have regained the throne. Ahitophel was Bathsheba’s grandfather. It also bears mentioning that Eliam, Bathsheba's father, was also of David's "mighty men." He fought alongside Urriah for years, entrusted his daughter to the man, and could have potentially died during the cover-up by their commanding officer. The men in the family knew what went down, and they weren't having any of it.

Some Fields Need to Be Burned

While those "Absalom focused" sermons we mentioned above say man's wrath is not God's righteousness and that vengeance belongs to the Lord, they do not discount the biblical reality that sometimes humans are the instruments that the Lord uses for punishment, and that those human hands may have reasons to be pissed off.

Absalom has become a go’el ha'dahm, "a redeemer of blood." The avenger of the family honor. Part of Tamar was murdered, so Absalom will make the guilty parties pay. Amnon and David. For while we can blame Amnon for his rape of Tamar, but we can also blame David. Not only for his inaction, but his actions.

David sucked when it came to his relationships with women. Look at his history. Read the stories of his relationships with his wives. How the redactors try to make David look better, but the seams of the stories shine through.

His shitty treatment of Michal, Saul's daughter.
Ahinoam, the wife he may have stolen from Saul.
Abigail, who the texts spends too much time trying to make us believe David didn't kill her first husband Nabal, but he died under suspicious circumstances.
Maacah - the mother of Tamar and Absalom, mentioned above.
Bathsheba - who he power-raped, cast aside, and whose husband he had murdered.
Haggith, Abital, Eglah & and the other unnamed wives and concubines he gathered, and no doubt mistreated.

Is it any wonder a man like this, confronting the rape of his own daughter, at the hands of his own son, would say,

"He’s my son and I love him. he’ll be king one day. What can i do?

boys will be boys."

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"King Solomon needed so many women because he was over-compensating for _____. "

And look how his sons turned out, not only Amnon, but Solomon, whose famous for his relationships with women destroying the whole monarchy.

Perhaps "boys will be boys" is bullshit proffered by insecure assholes who can't take responsibility for how their inaction has causal links to the misdeeds of those who look up to them.